Playwriting Perils

Ah yes, today was Playwriting class day. A day I look forward to three times a week with as much anticipation as going to the dentist for a root canal, which I had to do last week. Today we got contradictory information on the feedback from our starts. We had discussed ad naseum balance/equilibrium/stasis or whatever term you prefer to use, then he tells us today that it's really something different and anyone who got it wrong on the start was docked points. Huh? Seriously, dude, make up your mind! Which is it? So, now we are all thoroughly confused and not sure if we are ever going to get it right. I think I'm being tortured for something I may or may not have done in a past life. Otherwise, I have no explanation for this class. The prof holds my MFA degree against me because I didn't learn everything I know from him, and that just makes things worse. Is it any wonder I do not feel the need to ever open my mouth in the class? When this semester is over and I have taken the final I will be doing the happy dance and I can't dance! Don't look - it won't be pretty - LOL.

Denial, Delusion, Despair

The 3Ds have hit. I am at the point where I am starting to ask myself if I really am insane. Yesterday was not a good day - I totally screwed up an assignment in playwriting because I made a really dumb mistake, then was penalized for the mistake, as I should have been. However, I feel like the prof took off more points than was necessary. Why: because I'm a grad student and I'm supposed to know better or because he is trying to torment me and make my life miserable? Yesterday the answer would have been because he is trying to make my life miserable. I don't think he likes me because I learned about playwriting somewhere else, so I always feel like I have to do more in order to satisfy him. If this is the way it will be throughout my entire grad career I'm not sure it will be worth it. Today, I still think that's part of the answer but not the entire answer. The good news is that we do not have class tomorrow - woo hoo! I am struggling with trying to write in a way that I do not write in order to please him and pass the class. My entire creative being is in revolt, yet I need to pass this class. Hence, the despair, denial and delusion. If it weren't for my fellow comrades in scholarly armament, I might seriously consider giving up. However, everyone has one of these kinds of stories, so I know I am not the only one. It just feels like it sometimes!

On a more positive note - I received an e-mail today that even though the Great Plains Theatre Festival had not accepted either of my plays for inclusion in the Playlab series, my work did make the "top tier of submissions" (for what it's worth) and I have been invited to attend the writer's workshop and conference. I am torn about going. On the one hand, I am not sure it is financially feasible for me, but on the other hand Mac Wellman and Constance Congdon are two of the people leading the workshops. How can I pass up the opportunity to take a playwriting workshop from Mac Wellman? I don't think I can. Decisions, decisions.

Hoops

Hoops - it seems like I've been trying to avoid jumping through them in academia, but alas, it is not to be. One of my other profs put things in perspective for me when we had lunch last week. I'd asked him to read "Semper Fi" because I wanted his opinion as a director and a dramaturg, as well as a historian. He gave me a lot of good feedback and we talked a bit about my frustrations with playwriting, at least this semester. He told me that sometimes there are hoops to jump through in grad school, and this looked like one of them. While that does not make the situation any better, at least it is more palatable now. I still dread going to the class, made even worse by the fact that our final will be at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning, but at least I know if I want to get anywhere I need to jump through the hoops and there is no getting around it. Grr!

But, on the upside, I did finally get to go to a Texas Tech basketball game Saturday. Loved the band, loved the student section, hated the refs! Tech is not doing so well this year, but I had hopes they would beat Nebraska. Alas, it was not to be. The Huskers were getting lots of help from the refs. Pat Knight got T'd up, twice, and thrown out of the game. That really energized the crowd. I kind of felt sorry for the Nebraska bench, since they were right in front and next to the student section, but not that much. Did you know that Cookie Miller (Nebraska player) looks like Li'l Bow Wow? I didn't either until one of the students pointed it out to him - LOL! Great fun. The next home game is Saturday against Baylor. I'm looking forward to these hoops at least.